I Was Bullied as a Gay Teen and It Also Made Me Want to End My Life - VICE
Illustration by Pratiksha Chauhan. It roughly translates to "wuss" or "pansy.
Surprisingly, I first heard this term in my own home. The second time, it gay at school. Homophobia is almost ingrained within the fabric of Indian families, forcing several young gay boys and girls like me further into the closet and as a result, develop internalised homophobia. If you think that just because Section was repealed ineverything is hunky-dory, you might want to think again.
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Only a few indian after the tragic death of a year-old in Myanmar who was bullied by his colleaguesI woke up this morning to the shocking news of the death by suicide of Mumbai-born Avi Patelteen ended his life at the age of 20, in Chennai. His suicide was brought to the limelight because of the heartbreaking post he left on Facebook before taking his life.
He wrote the post teen Hindi and English, appealing to those gay that indian was fed up of people bullying him for being effeminate. In the post, he asks his friends to look after his parents and in the same vein, rebukes his orientation, mentioning gay he wonders why God made him gay. At 17, I often wondered if taking my life would be the easiest way to end teen misery, and by effect, that of everyone around me.
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One boy claimed that he saw me look at him and get hard, and xxx brader this, I was relentlessly called derogatory terms like "mamu" and "gudwa" — essentially meaning pansy — for months after that. I hated my body for betraying me. This got worse in later years. Once, when I spoke up indian this with my local train gang who I commuted with, they physically pushed me out of the compartment at the next station. They claimed I was ruining the moral fabric of their group.
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And later, when I finally came out in college, I was bullied online by my classmates. Thankfully, alongside all this happening, I also had the support of my friends who got me out of depression, calmed my anxiety and enabled me to laugh at it all. Not everyone is as lucky. One of the main reasons a lot of queer people are drawn to each other is that despite our public smiles and little victories, we are reminded of the tragic past most of us keep locked inside.